


Alone in the World (But Not for Long)

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Shadowhunters Tarot Series [8]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Gen, Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge, Tarot Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: Jonathan takes time to re-learn himself outside of Edom.
Series: Shadowhunters Tarot Series [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664110
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12
Collections: Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge





	Alone in the World (But Not for Long)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the collection's ninth card: The Hermit. A lone figure stands at the center of a bridge, crossing a quietly babbling stream. The only other presence on this clear and moonlit night are the will-o’-the wisps dancing along the banks. 
> 
> Our relationships with others are important. Humans were meant to be social. We crave connection to the world around us. The Hermit asks us to eschew all of that. The Hermit walks willingly into the wilderness, beyond the reach of humanity and society, to look inward in silence and introspection. In this card, we discover that other people cannot help us, at this moment. Now is the time for finding comfort in solitude and coaxing out the light within ourselves. Withdraw yourself from the world around you and take the time to just be alone. Me. Myself. And I.
> 
> And (as a bonus challenge I set for myself) focused on [this stunning Shadowhunter's Tarot set's The Hermit:](https://twitter.com/SERAPHERZ/status/1159791401342652421?s=20) Sebastian Verlac (though I went with Jonathan!Seb for this fic)

All Jonathan ever craved was human contact. Loving touches, kind smiles, hugs and handshakes and soft kisses on cheeks, on lips. He’s been alone - well, as good as alone, kept in Lilith’s tower - for the better part of his life. Now that he’s out, now that he’s _free_ , returning to solitude is the last thing he wants to do. 

But he must. He needs time to watch, to observe the people who were raised in a functioning society, to learn and adapt. Jonathan as himself wants to rush headfirst into things, craving connection, but as Sebastian? He isn’t ready to be Sebastian, not yet. 

So he takes the time to embrace the solitude he’s used to knowing that it’s for a greater good this time: his good. No one can help him here, not the other Shadowhunters at the Institute Sebastian was studying at before they met, not his father who likely imagines him dead, and certainly not Lilith who would enjoy nothing more than to see him fail and come crawling back to her. No, other people can’t help him now, this is something he has to do on his own. 

And so he does. He becomes comfortable in this new skin, taking the time to learn it, to embrace it. He’s alone but he isn’t lonely, because he isn’t _Jonathan_ , not like this. His features are soft, his smile charming, his accent endearing - people are _drawn_ to him. People want to trust him, to believe every word he says. 

He can do this. The longer he’s Sebastian the more confident he is that he can pull this off, to find the light and the goodness within himself that others seem to see there now, to make it real, to become worthy of the family he’s always dreamed of. 

It doesn’t matter that he’s navigating a very delicate plan entirely alone, or that he’s willingly walked away from everything and everyone he’s familiar with to enter into a world of unknowns… not when they will take him, finally, to Clarissa. 

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


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